Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Cat Resolutions

So, since we humans make our new year's resolutions each year, it got me thinking about what kind of resolutions our feline friends might make and what kind of resolutions I wish they would make.

Here are my hopes for resolution minded kitties.

I resolve to make sure all my poo makes it into the litter box and I will cover up all traces of said poo.

I resolve to ignore your new sofa that looks so much like a huge scratching post slash kitty bed.

I resolve not to wake you up at 3am because I'm in the mood to be petted.

I resolve to stop jumping onto your back every time you bend over or are trying to clean up the kitchen.

I resolve to stop jumping onto the counter to investigate the food that you are trying to prepare for yourself.

I resolve to stop biting your ankle because I am bored and you are not paying attention to me.

And here are the actual resolutions that our kitties will make.

We resolve to make sure that the litter boxes are always full of poo and pee and litter is scattered all over the house because we know how much you enjoy cleaning cat boxes twice a day and what else do you have to do anyway?

We resolve to sleep on your bed every afternoon for at least four or five hours.

We resolve to sit and/or sleep on your new sofa in the exact spot that you would like to sit, necessitating in our removal from said spot four or five times a day.

We resolve to continue to be picky about our canned cat food, requiring the expensive Fancy Feast brand, but ONLY in certain flavors, any substitutes will result in turned up noses and looks of extreme disgust.

We resolve to become bored with our new toys in about five minutes, and will require you to provide a steady source of new toys and amusement throughout the year.

We resolve to demand to be petted when you are:
a/ trying to sleep
b/ trying to cook dinner
c/ trying to read a book or magazine-we will sit directly upon said book or magazine
d/ trying to go to the bathroom
and e/ every other time you are trying to do anything but pay attention to us

And, finally, we resolve to continue to be a never ending source of amusement and affection for you in this new year to come!

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